You talk, I walk, wanna feel the danger
You see me with him and it's turning you on
It's got me sayin, getting me back at the end of this song
Get outta my way
Hellllo
I should be studying right now, but I'm just not.... I want to take a shower before I continue reading for my next class. I love Berkeley!
I went to the health center today for my doctor's appt. She recommended acupuncture and lots of fluids. Acupuncture is covered by my health insurance! Yay. I ate my muffin while walking to school, and had nothing to do when I got there so I played bejeweled until it was time for class.
Today while I was walking to the health center, a guy tried to pull the "my car ran out of gas, can you give me $5" bullshit. There were lots of people around, I don't know why he targeted me. Sounded all pissed off when I told him I didn't have cash too. Should have just pepper sprayed him for the hell of it.
I've been doing so much walking lately that my toes actually hurt! :( Maybe I need more comfortable shoes? Whatevs. I also need to return hella shit to amazon and stuff because, surprisingly, the bookstore had cheaper prices than amazon.. Well, I'm also renting my books, so that definitely makes a huge difference.
I feel like I should shower soon, then get back to reading. I have a discussion tomorrow at 1. Man, I don't get off til 6:30 tomorrow, then I have to prepare to drive home right afterwards. Oh well, I'm pretty excited to go home... Dunno why, just am!
Thinking about what I should eat for breakfast tomorrow. Probably oatmeal... Ah, I'll decide in the morning.
Shit. I was supposed to go to target today but I wasn't feeling well and had my Dr's appt. Oh well, next week.
kbye
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
Sigh.
I miss him.
I don't know what about him I miss, exactly. Probably the fact that he was such a good friend to me. Sometimes it felt like he was my best friend, even though I didn't want to admit it because he wouldn't acknowledge it. I mean, I shouldn't feel this way.
I'm spoiled as fuuuck right now. In turn, I take advantage of things. In a way, I don't like to be spoiled because it turns me into an entitled sack of useless shit. It's nice though, I guess. It's a change of scenery. Whether it's a good or bad change, I'm not quite sure yet...
At the end of the day, it's not this. It's what I had. It's of what I had that I'm having the hardest time letting go. It's not exactly upsetting, which worries me just a little. It's more of an empty feeling.
Something's not quite here, but I can't explain it. I can't quite put my finger on it.
I wish I brought my textbooks home so I could just read them and get my mind off things. Maybe I will go back to my apt tonight instead of tomorrow morning. Or I'll take a nap now and see how I end up feeling.
byeEEee
I miss him.
I don't know what about him I miss, exactly. Probably the fact that he was such a good friend to me. Sometimes it felt like he was my best friend, even though I didn't want to admit it because he wouldn't acknowledge it. I mean, I shouldn't feel this way.
I'm spoiled as fuuuck right now. In turn, I take advantage of things. In a way, I don't like to be spoiled because it turns me into an entitled sack of useless shit. It's nice though, I guess. It's a change of scenery. Whether it's a good or bad change, I'm not quite sure yet...
At the end of the day, it's not this. It's what I had. It's of what I had that I'm having the hardest time letting go. It's not exactly upsetting, which worries me just a little. It's more of an empty feeling.
Something's not quite here, but I can't explain it. I can't quite put my finger on it.
I wish I brought my textbooks home so I could just read them and get my mind off things. Maybe I will go back to my apt tonight instead of tomorrow morning. Or I'll take a nap now and see how I end up feeling.
byeEEee
Sunday, August 5, 2012
GIVING UP
Sometimes, it's okay to give up. There comes a time where you just sort of realize that the effort is not going to be worth it. All the time spent (not wasted), all the tears and the pain is just dragging on and on for nothing. It's okay to say that enough is enough. It's okay to feel weak.
It's important to know that you'll stand up again. You'll be the person you were before the drama, before the pain and before the tears. That may not be where you want to be, but "you were fine without him, you will be fine without him".
For me, personally, I feel like I have definitely grown. There are things that I have learned, and there are things that I am willing to compromise. Expectations will be expectations...what can I say. I don't know if I'd like to be the person that I was before everything, but I am content with the person that I am after everything.
Sometimes it's not good to dwell on past experiences, but I did feel completely hopeless a long time ago, but I said fuck it and moved forward. Always move forward and use past experiences as learning opportunities.
It's important to know that you'll stand up again. You'll be the person you were before the drama, before the pain and before the tears. That may not be where you want to be, but "you were fine without him, you will be fine without him".
For me, personally, I feel like I have definitely grown. There are things that I have learned, and there are things that I am willing to compromise. Expectations will be expectations...what can I say. I don't know if I'd like to be the person that I was before everything, but I am content with the person that I am after everything.
Sometimes it's not good to dwell on past experiences, but I did feel completely hopeless a long time ago, but I said fuck it and moved forward. Always move forward and use past experiences as learning opportunities.
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