Monday, March 25, 2013

#iwouldbefuckingcrazy

Ugh. I am so happy it is sickening. I mean, I understand that this is how it's supposed to feel in the beginning, but things just feel so fucking right. I don't really know how to explain it, and I really don't even want to, because who really does that right?

I mean as long as I know how I feel, that's all that really matters. Being in this relationship makes me really wonder how it was possible that I used to put up with such bullshit. How did I give so much only to receive little to nothing in return? I don't even know what I was thinking.

For the past few weeks, I've waken up every morning thankful and happy for what I have. I haven't doubted anything, and I haven't been upset. I don't expect to be disappointed, and I haven't had to compromise under any circumstances. He says all the right things, and makes me feel so important to him.  He holds my hand while he drives, and always has his arm around me when we walk.

I used to get yelled at about the fact that my expectations were too much, and nobody would ever fulfill my standards. Well, I haven't had to lower a single standard or expect anything less than what I believe I deserve. I give 100%, and I make sure my man is satisfied as well as happy. Why shouldn't I deserve the same?

It's really just a great feeling knowing that somebody understands what I deserve and is ready and willing to give it to me. I don't need to be showered in money and gifts AT ALL. That is not what I expect. Material things are just little bonuses in life. I want care and affection. It's not much to ask - I know it's not. If I can give it, I can receive it. After all, isn't that some people's philosophy in life? Get what you give.

It's so easy to put my past behind me now. I can't express how much I appreciate new beginnings.

xo.e

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